My Journey With Depression

Change, A Breath of Fresh Air

As I sit in the hairdresser’s chair, I can’t help but think of all of the changes that have recently happened in my life. For someone like myself who enjoys order and consistency, change has never been too easy. However, as I’ve grown up, I’ve become more accepting of change.

First of many changes, my diagnosis with depression and anxiety. That was something I sort of always saw coming, but it did not make it any easier to accept. The fact it took 5 years for me to do something about it shows how uncomfortable I was with it and how much I didn’t want to accept it. I wasn’t ready for that kind of change in my life. But it was ready for me. So, like a big girl, I stepped up and decided I was ready to take on the challenge. And let me tell you, it’s a never ending challenge. A year and a half later and my doctor is still trying to help me find the right kind of medications. Though it can be discouraging at times, I have accepted this change and have been able to move on with my life.

Secondly, transferring universities. Something I never imagined I would have to do but am facing anyway. See the funny thing is, change always sneaks up on you, which is why it seems so difficult and so awful. However, even though it will be different and new, I’m extremely excited to start my journey at Crandall University this fall. Many people give me a weird look when I tell them where I’ll be pursuing my studies because it is a private institution as well as a religious one. That, however, has never bothered me. I love to learn. And to me, learning is learning no matter the subject. Of course, I am not going to be forced into believing 100% in their religion, but I do have the opportunity to explore it to which I am thankful. I am also thankful that they allowed me to apply to their school after the deadline due to exceptional circumstances.
Lastly: jobs. I’ve always switched jobs frequently. Not necessarily because I don’t like the job, but because I don’t feel that it is the right fit for me. A year and a half ago, when I was diagnosed with depression, I decided that I would not let something like a job bring me any sadness. Hence, the many job changes. I left the jobs where I wasn’t happy, felt under appreciated or just felt uncomfortable. There is too much negativity in this world and I wasn’t about to let a job add on to that. If I can change it, and for the better, then that’s what I do. For example, working at a location where my manager got angry with me for making a mistake : NOT worth it. I left pretty quickly thereafter and the feeling of relief that came upon me after handing in my resignation was inexplicable. Rule of thumb: If you’re unhappy somewhere, leave. There will always be another opportunity waiting for you. (Side note, that opportunity may take a bit of searching to find, so don’t be discouraged)

Change, no matter how bad it may seem, will always end up being better than you thought. It is so refreshing to switch up something in your life. It’s like coming up for a breath of fresh air, and sometimes, that’s all we need to make ourselves feel better.

I guess you could say that I always compare change to a good hair cut – or a bad one… Hair is hair. It will grow back if it’s too short and it will grow out if it’s the wrong color. On top of that, you can dye it another color, style it a different way, or wait it out. Feel like you need a change in your life? Go see your “Hairapist” and she’ll fix you right up! Whenever I need to change something up in my life, I reorganize my drawers, move my furniture, paint a wall, buy a new top or cut my hair. You don’t need to do anything major to yourself to feel like you’ve changed or grown. So let your hair down, and cut it off!13398932_606809079482042_1336660283_n(1)

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